One pee short of a toilet

          Sometimes I simply cannot believe my bad luck. I have been meaning to start this by talking about an nice event, but my stream of bad luck beat me to it. It permanently marked me with the most embarrassing event in my entire life. The only good part is that I won't have to think twice the next time someone asks me which one that is.

          My two best friends and I were invited to a birthday party. It was being held in a small village in the middle of nowhere. That village has special connotations attached to it. Every time we'd pay it a visit, it would end up with one of us being involved in some kind of incident. It's a village of sin, definitely. Upon entering it, one must leave their bag of dignity hanging on the board containing its name. Visitors are then allowed to collect that bag upon their departure to the city. Up till now, I managed to avoid being a part of such incidents.

          The person who invited us over was my roommate's cousin, a policeman working in a special unit. They are the meanest kind there is. They operate the most delicate and sophisticated weapons, they are involved in the most dangerous operations and occasionally guard the celebrities. His word is the law around there. It has to be the way he wants it since nobody is bold enough to contradict him. To cut story short, I peed on him.

          It was not during the party, thank God. After the people had cleared off, we all went to sleep. I was even assigned a bed in a warm room. In the morning, as we were preparing to leave, I went down the stairs and realized that my heart had skipped a beat. Soon enough, I started losing my breath and my vision as well. These are usually the three safe signs that something bad is about to happen. I sat down on one of the stairs and informed my girls that I was about to pass out. They took it as a joke and laughed at me till the moment I kissed the floor. Then, they panicked. They called my roommate's cousin, the policeman, who awkwardly picked me up and hauled me over his shoulder. Unfortunately for both of us, his shoulder got rammed straight into my bladder. This resulted with me peeing on both me and him. When I came round, I felt nauseous and disoriented. I felt moisture all over my pants. For an instant, I thought that maybe they had thrown some water on me to wake me up, but the only way that was possible with such amount of water was if they had hosed me down, which I found very unlikely.
           Needless to say, I got showered with numerous jokes later on and got some quality material for "FML" page.