Here's a segment from one of my old diaries. I found a whole bunch of them, so I'll probably include them in my posts, too:
"My stream of bad luck remains persistent. I hadn't felt too well yesterday so I ended up swallowing the bigger part of our home medication collection. We ended up watching a really trashy horror movie about a bunch of stupid American teenagers (who else) who wandered off to some kind of Mayan temple crawling with vicious carnivorous plants who had miraculously acquired the ability of imitating the famous Nokia ringtune. Needless to say, those who didn't kill each other got eaten by the plants.
After that, we watched Voyager, which has become a daily ritual. Somewhere around 3AM I felt a bit chilly so I got up and tried reaching for the thermostat from my bed since I had been reluctant to abandon the warmth of my bed covers. That outstanding maneuver resulted with my bed breaking through. The boards loosened and burst under my weight. I couldn't believe my bad luck. I just sat there, in complete darkness, with one hand still in the air, extended towards the thermostat, cursing karma. I tried returning to my previous position, which proved to be a challenge since I kept gliding down along with my mattress beneath a rumble of falling boards.
Now that's why I call irony. I hadn't even USED that bed to its full potential (though that didn't stop others from doing the same) and it betrayed me and broke down beneath me. Of course, in midst of that discovery and shock, I had alerted my roommate Alecia, who had to check the bed the following morning to make sure she hadn't been dreaming."
An interesting discussion of severe length developed today on our way home from college. Blair decided to skip coffee in our apartment so Alecia, May and I went alone. Enticed by my evil twin's (this will be explained later, I promise) choice of book for her reading assignment, "The Twilight", we started talking about vampires being attractive and seductive, immediately excluding Edward as being either of the two. Then we started naming vampires which tickled our fancy, both just as book or movie characters. We were actually applying this so called, 'golden rule', stating the characters we would actually like to be with. If one chose somebody, the others couldn't get him. Somehow, from vampires we switched to fantasy characters, then to sexy men in general. In addition to that, we started talking about what we'd do to them. Really nasty stuff, too. Alecia's golden rule applied to Lestat from "The Queen of the Damned", Johnny Knoxville (pre-Jackass Johnny, back when he didn't need tubes in order to pee) and Mathew Lillard. May and I argued a bit about CSI:New York, but in the end, we reached an agreement. She took the Italian guy and I took the cute detective. Also, I added Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman to the list of men who I wouldn't kick out of my bed.
Few weeks back, my friends and I went to our student mess hall. As we stood in line, we noticed a Chinese girl. That young woman was to be blamed for a series of our failings in a matter of a single hour. First of all, we failed as students of English language. When the lunch lady had enquired everyone present if there was somebody who spoke English, we remained silent. The Chinese girl obviously had a bone to pick with karma as well, because only moments later, she had dropped her tray along with all the food and drinks on the floor. It was rather embarrassing, especially considering that it was rush hour in the mess hall and about 300 people were there. This events caused us to fail as pedagogues, too, since we did nothing to help her. As we sat down, we noticed her sitting about few tables away from ours.
We started guessed where she was from. Alecia made a completely justified assumption that she was from Poland.
"What makes you think she's from Poland?" , I asked.
"What makes you think she's not?"
I tried pointing out the obvious. Regretfully, this led the conversation in a completely different direction and it caused us to fail as normal people. By the end of that discussion, not only did we appear racists, but we could be defined as complete social retards and intolerant dickheads. We even started fearing that the entire mess hall was bugged with cameras and microphones and that the Chinese woman was a governmental experiment hoping to track down people who made comments like ours and then charge them with crimes against humanity. We were really being asses that day. To make amends, we set an objective to locate her and to socialize (hoping she smuggled some sake over the border). I entrusted a friend of mine, Damian, who lives in the student dorm to snoop around and find her, since we assumed she was an exchange student. So far - no results.
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