Diary entry:
"Yesterday, we started drinking at 10AM. The four of us; Blair, Alecia, May and me. After an hour boredom started kicking in so we introduced a new workshop; we were only allowed to speak in English. The person to first start talking in Croatian had to drink everything that was currently in their glass. I was the one who made such mistakes most often. Damn you, Croatian! After a while, it was as if our brains switched to English language and it became completely natural. Words and grammatical constructions just started flowing, nobody was making mistakes and we were actually using words and phrases we normally wouldn't. Our intention was to film the degeneration of our English as we drank. We filmed 3 videos, the first one was filmed at the very beginning, the second one was made after a few hours and the last one somewhat in the late afternoon. That last one is full of mistakes, stupid words, literal translations and Croatian equivalents. I made an interesting observation that we swore a whole lot less when speaking in English.
Also, we have May her birthday present - blue sneakers. In that drunken haze, she kept complaining how her left sneaker was pinching her. We all assumed it was because the sneakers were new. Only tomorrow did she realize that she had shoes of two different sizes. The exchange went well and everything is in order now.
Nothing stimulating ever happens to us. We have no ambition and nothing interests us. We haven't got any goals in life and we rarely think about the future. Perhaps it's better this way. Thinking about the future can often be disappointing, especially if things don't go according to our plans. I like the fact that we live one day at a time. Our 'friend', Dwayne Marley, the one who thinks we're as low and complex as the fungi that grow beneath a stone in a 10 meter deep gutter, is nowhere near being such a person. His idea of being adventurous and spontaneous would be choosing to have chocolate cereals instead of the regular ones for breakfast. No, scratch that. That's not the food serious, working adults eat. He grew up too fast for any of us to follow and suddenly there was no more room for us in his life. I dunno, we are satisfied the way we are. We like being childish and laughing to people's bald spots or bulging genital regions, even if it made us as popular as a cock-flavored lollipop (irony in all of this is that Dwayne Marley is even more unpopular than we are; to put it delicately - he's as popular as a cock-flavored lollipop dipped in dog shit). I really don't want to grow up. I want to remain a child in the world of adults. I can't perceive myself differently, despite the fact that I'm rushing at speed of light towards my diploma, which will instantly diminish this last resort of childhood and push me into the world of adults. Hopefully, I won't change much. My brain refuses to function in any other way, which is something I embrace with eagerness. Feeling and staying young FTW.
"We have a woman who goes to same classes as the rest of us and smells really bad. No, that would be an understatement. An armpit of a truck driver after an 8-hour drive smells bad. She reeks. Crap, I'm so going to end up in Hell. Her odor is rather specific. In that concoction of smells, one dominates. She smells of burek. I tried Googling the term, trying to find an English equivalent but I doesn't exist. Lexical gap, I suppose. The only translation that I've managed to find was that a 'burek' can be defines as a 'leafy meat-pie' but I find it unworthy so I'll keep using the term 'burek'. At times, she also smells a bit like fish that had been taken out of the water and thrown on the asphalt during a hot summer day... and sometimes, as if a dog came and crapped all over that fish. Also, a bit like feet. Anyway, it's certainly a combination which makes you feel as if you have a roller coaster inside your stomach.
This one time, I had the misfortune of sitting to her left in one of our classes; I think it was during the English Language Practice. I leaned a bit forward to poke Alecia when Burek Lady lifted her left arm while stretching. In an instant, I thought my eyes were gonna melt straight onto the desk before me. Such intensity was overwhelming and I stopped in mid speech and pushed myself backwards, along with my chair, rather unsubtly. Alecia quickly turned forward, but I could see that she was laughing, that cunning bitch, masking her laughter as a cough as her entire body violently shook. I was unable to do the same because Burek Lady had started questioning me about some kind of task we got to solve. After recovering from that incident (and regretting having a nose), I silently prayed that someone would stick a branch into my ear and remove my short-term memory. Just as I regained composure, she lifted her hand and dug into that oily hair. Alright, nothing strange, my scalp also itches at times. Not alright, when she started raking her nails through it; it was an action accompanied by a sound which disgusted people sitting three rows in front of us. I could imagine the dandruff and skin cells piling up beneath those short, yellow nails. That sound outvoiced even our professor.
Burek Lady isn't a bad person, she might even have a good personality... BUT IT'S BEING SUFFOCATED AND SCREAMING FOR MERCY BENEATH THOSE TOXIC FUMES! FOR GOODNESS SAKE, WOMAN! IT'S THE 21ST CENTURY! RUNNING WATER STOPPED BEING A LUXURY 2 CENTURIES AGO! WASH YOURSELF, WOMAN! DAMN IT."
I'll just leave this here. It's a meat burek.
I'll just leave this here. It's a meat burek.
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