Quit watching porn during my class!

          "I just remembered last Friday. It was an interesting day. Our first class was Corpus Linguistics. It's the type of class where we all work on computers, studying corpora and solving some kind of tasks. Of course, if these corpora weren't online, maybe some of us would actually pay attention to our professor's words. We usually spend time on Facebook and MSN while on that class, but this time, we chose YouTube. Alecia was still under the impression of her top 50 hunks list, so we were looking for some interesting videos featuring actors from that list. The crown belonged to Paul Walker, which was a pretty justified choice, if i may add. We YouTubed him and found a video named 'Paul Walker sex scene'. In this scene, he was having sex with some random woman in the laundry room. At the beginning, the woman's leaning down and putting some clothes into the washing machine. Then, Paul Walker approaches and grabs her from behind. Somewhere around here we completely began ignoring everyone else in the room, including our professor, who started calling our names in order to check out answers to some completely unimportant questions. When Paul Walker lifted that woman's shirt and kissed her stomach near the rim of her pants, Alecia and I huddled together and refused to acknowledge anyone else. After 10 seconds of that torturous foreplay, his ass flashed the scene and they started having sex on the washing machine. Our eyes went wide, heart beat and breathing accelerated, eyebrows were lifted and we both started biting out lower lip. I could barely refrain myself from drooling. When our professor called our names, we didn't know where we were. This was a completely new level of refusing to participate in class; by watching porn. 

           That day, we also had Affirmative Drama class. We wrote a colloquium and then analyzed the last play we were supposed to read, 'Sunrise at Campobello', about Roosevelt and his battle with polio. It was supposed to be a didactic play. It served its purpose; I learned that 'gloteus maximus' basically means 'ass' in Latin. After we were done with that chapter, where heroes learn how to deal with and overcome a disability (and after the discussion of whether alcoholism is a disability or not), we initiated a new chapter about heroes accepting other people. This has 3 branches; acceptance of family members, acceptance of partner (of different race - I suggested this as Ella's paper topic and she just glared at me) and acceptance of 'different' (different sexual orientation - perfect paper topic for Blair). 

          After that, something else grasped our attention. Before getting into that, I have to describe the arrangement of chairs and desks in this particular classroom. The biggest number of desks is organized to form a 'U' shape and couple of additional desks are placed in the middle of that shape. Now, I was sitting across Babka and my girls were situated next to me. Across from me sat Babka and George. We all occupied this outer shell. People sitting in the middle were Burek Lady and Dwayne Marley. At one point, Burek Lady stood up and went to the bathroom. I had to glance at her again in disbelief as she had been leaving to convince myself that her choice of attire was real. She was wearing a white track suit which was completely see-through. Beneath its smooth surface rested a pair of undies which struggled hard to cover as much as her ass as possible. It was a vain attempt, since they were Brazilian panties. As if that wasn't more than enough to pain our eyes, I noticed that her panties were white with some kind of dark blue flowers. They were so visible that we could actually count them, if we wanted to. I couldn't control myself, I laughed like an idiot. What helped me ease my conscious was the fact that Babka and George were also trying to stifle a laugh when she returned. We all going to Hell and I'm driving the bus. Though Babka and George will have to wait for another bus, there's no fucking chance I'm driving them as well.

           I just remembered something funny. There was a girl who studied with us till she got pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. After that she discovered God and loyalty. It is ironical because before that, she had been in a relationship with one guy for a really long time, then she got drunk, cheated on him, got pregnant, gave birth and now she's getting married to that other guy. The only reason why I keep her as a friend on Facebook is because her hypocrisy makes me laugh. To name couple of fan pages and groups she recently joined:

- Jesus is super!

- Where would I be if it weren't for JESUS??!?!

- Going to church.

- Relationships are all about being faithful!

- I hate it when guys are cheating in a relationship!

- Don't have sex. 'Cause you will get pregnant. And die.

- Honesty is a very expensive present. Don't expect to get it from everyone.

- Brandy.

          She should become a fan of "If you're cheating on your boyfriend, try NOT getting pregnant". Also, the last fan page on that list... Blair says that she probably likes it because it was one of the reasons which got her pregnant."

Since nothing interesting happened today, I'll just insert another diary bit here.

          "I slightly miss being in a relationship. The more I think about it, the more I miss that feeling of having someone to bug at your disposal 24/7. After a whole day spent on classes, the only ones I have to bug after coming home are either my mom or my cats. Let's face it, it's pathetic either way. My social life is below zero. Blair discovered an event which might slightly change that state, in a positive way.

Blair: There's a student party this Thursday!

Eva: Yes... and my sober twin will go to Corpus Linguistics exam on my behalf.

Blair: Damn. Lol. It kinda slipped my mind.

Eva: Yup.

Blair: Damn it, this college stuff is really affecting my social life.

Eva: Well, son of a bitch. We should postpone studying for a year.

Blair: Exactly! We should attend all the parties, do a liver transplantation and return to college on a red carpet!

Eva: Let's be realistic. Who on earth would give us their liver?

Blair: Healthy people still exist... Sometimes I think that the liver of those drunkards who socialize on the bus station is in a better shape than my own...

Eva: We'd have to do away with couple of those. That plan with C4 is out, then. We can't blow them up, though. It would be tricky to glue the liver back together after blowing them up with C4. 

Blair: Add chloroform to the list... and that little mobile refrigerator for the organs... You know, like those which people carry to the beach. We knock them out, cut them, put the liver in the refrigerator and blow them up, destroying all the evidence.

Eva: How about just grabbing the liver and replacing it with C4?

Blair: Spectacular!

Blair: Hey, do people do pussy transportation?

Eva: And they call me demented."

Shit, we really need some professional help.